Too perfect

It has taken me a long time to realize that Peggy has what experts call Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD). Another name for this disorder is simply perfectionism. A lightbulb came on in my head when I realized this. Many people have heard of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) but OCPD is actually quite different. People with OCD have rituals they have to follow, such as excessive hand washing, fear of germs, repetitive behaviors, etc. but they actually know they rituals are wrong. People with OCPD, however, are convinced that their habits are justified, they impose their habits on other people, they are very controlling and they don't want to change.

I believe the best book written on this subject is called Too Perfect: When Being in Control Gets Out of Control by Jeannette Dewyze and Allan Mallinger. This book has opened amazing horizons for me. It is ironic that I began blogging touting another book called Perfect Madness. I, in fact, named this blog after that book. Little did I know that the answer was staring right in my face. The word "perfect" was the key to understanding what makes my wife tick. What was wreaking havoc with our lives was my wife's obsessive quest for perfection. I couldn't figure this out earlier because I always thought perfectionists are people who are pretty close to perfect and they tend to be confident and conceited people. Peggy has almost no confidence. I never thought of her as a perfectionist. It was a misunderstanding of perfectionism on my part. One doesn't have to be anywhere near perfect in order to be a perfectionist. A relentless pursuit of perfection is all that is necessary.